Have to vs. Want to

• 10 Jul 2018
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There are many times in our lives when we have to do something we don’t feel like doing, such as looking after the elderly or the sick or doing certain chores in the house. What exactly is the difference between doing something because we ‘have to’ or doing something because we ‘want to’? Does it really matter, if we are going to do the thing anyway?  The difference may be subtle but it is important.

If I am constantly feeling I ‘have to do this’  then there will be very little life in the task itself, and it will feel like I am pushing myself like one pushes a donkey. There will be hardly any passion or motivation and it will make one feel enforced and probably resentful whilst doing it. There will be a feeling of no choice and hence the burden of ‘having to’ will kick in.

In fact no one should feel they have to do something.  Ok leave kids aside – their training is important!  But times are such that we don’t feel empowered enough to take charge of our lives, we feel constantly governed by something or someone at every step; we feel we have to sit in traffic, we have to wait in queues, we have to pay our bills, we have to call upon relatives!

But as adults we need to learn to understand and appreciate our purpose here, and the reason for all our deeds in fulfilling those purposes.  If you have to go to work everyday, then understand why you are doing it. Does it appear like a drudgery, a necessary evil that you have to accomplish in order to pay the bills? Or can you reframe that… be thankful for your job and the sense of security or fulfillment it brings. Look for things and people in your work that can bring satisfaction and even joy. Lighten up your attitude and you will be surprised at how others respond. Get out of the gossip, blame and complain culture and you will begin to feel more in control and empowered.

If one has chosen to look after parents at home, then focus on the fact that they have cared for you for many years, and it is an honor to serve them. Emerge the feelings of kindness and consideration, realizing that you can be good role models for your children… and they may be in your shoes one day!

From my experience, when I actually decide I want to do something then there is an incentive created; an invigorating energy is stirred up.  Yes, even if I have to spend some time convincing myself at first that I want to do it, and it’s not that I have to do it, it still works!  But I do believe one has to go through that exercise of making the self appreciate the pros of getting on and doing whatever it is, with LOVE.  In this way you will be able to enjoy what you are doing.  You will get through it faster and benefit in other ways.  The avenue for exploration and learning will be left open as you realise that there must be deeper reasons to: ‘why me?’ and ‘why here?’ and ‘why now?’

And if there is resistance then ask the self why?  Perhaps that’s exactly what I need to be cutting through in order to break through into something deeper and grow spirituality and emotionally.

With the ‘have to’ it feels like a push from the outside.  With the ‘want to’ attitude, it’s a push from the inside.  So what would you rather choose?  To be self-motivated or to wait to be controlled by others?

Choose to do things with love, it’s a much better energy, and you will get the blessings on top as a bonus of the good karma you will have deposited into your soul account!  When we make the effort to turn things around and ‘love to’ rather than ‘have to’, we become creators of our destiny and of course our happiness!

Its time…. to decide to love the things you ‘have to do’ and every action becomes a choice and even an opportunity for growth.